Friday, April 30, 2010

What Would You Sacrifice For Art?

If you've sent me an email and haven't heard back or are wondering why I haven't posted anything since Monday, it's because it's been a hellacious and stressful week. Now, it's not due to anything that bad. I'm not sick, nor are any family members and I'm not teetering on personal disaster. It's all, as a friend of mine says, 'First World Problems'. Problems that the vast majority of the world would gladly take in trade for their current issues. Anyhow, there's been sleepless nights and lots of over thinking... and in that over thinking, I thought about my career path and how I got to where I am. Much like most of you, I have some friends who border on the poverty line... and I have some friends who live in sprawling mansions. Me? I fall somewhere in between. Every once in a while I think, how did one get to one place and one get to the other? Sure, I know some trust fund guys and people from wealthy families who've never had to worry, but I'll leave them out. They're anomalies. The truth is, when I look at my friends who are on the lower end of the spectrum, they almost always have picked a career that's arts related or is based on following some sort of dream. The other end of the spectrum? Stock brokers, finance guys, accountants, lawyers... and for a lot of them, their careers are a means to an end, when can I retire? Yes, I have friends that love jobs that I would consider menial and yes, I have friends who have earned great success in following their dreams, but they're also anomolies. As for me, as usual, I tried to balance risk and reward and went somewhere in between. So, what's the right thing to do? If you could go back in time, what would you do? What would you tell your kids to do?

You've heard it a thousand times. Find out what you love to do and do it, the money will follow. Well, I got news for you, that doesn't always happen. I knew from a very early age that I loved media, movies in particular. However, as I grew up and learned more, I just fell in love with the whole thing. Movies, TV, Marketing, Advertising, all of it. I love the creative aspects and I love the business aspects. Having said that, when I went to film school, I specialized in screenwriting. I LOVE writing a story. I love creating something, pulling something out of nowhere and making it something tangible. So, I figured that I would stick to media jobs where I could explore all the difference facets of the business, while allowing me the time to write on the side. I could learn the business, while pursuing my passion. Now, on paper, I have a good job and have built up enough of a resume to make me an asset to any media company and I still write on the side. However, I can't help but wonder... what if I had given up one of the two? What if I had said, "Fuck it, I'm taking part time jobs and odd jobs and putting every waking hour into writing..." OR "Fuck it, I'm giving up the writing and I'm going to go balls out on my career"? Then where would I be?

Like I said earlier, it's not that I'm in a bad position. I'm not, I'm doing just fine and don't feel sorry for me. Not by any means. My stress and issues are from problems that a lot of people would long to have. However, in times of stress, my brain starts clicking... especially when I try to sleep. Like any artsy guy, I get over-dramatic, I over-analyze and I think in third person... I'm just wondering if any of this stuff has crossed your mind and what do you think? In any case, I apologize for not having any real new indie-horror related material up over the last few days and I can't promise that I'll get back to regular posting next week, but I'll try.... and only because I love it.

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